megram - Index

megram - 55Ottawa - Index

their shoes, we model empathy, an essential building block
for becoming caring, responsible and productive adults.
Grandparents who are positive and encourage their grandchildren
to see problems as temporary and solvable promote
an attitude of optimism. Optimistic children are less
likely to be depressed.They also have improved school performance,
physical health and ability to handle disappointments
and setbacks.
6 Be playful and spontaneous.Through play,children
develop skills, imagination and confidence, and find ways
to express their emotions. Playing with your grandchildren
strengthens your relationship with them and makes your
time together more fun and joyful.Grandparents can enjoy
many types of play: creative or imaginary play, active physical
play, or quiet play such as reading, games or puzzles.
Playful grandparenting is not just about games, toys, and
outings. It is also about being spontaneous and having a
sense of playfulness inside.
September 2008 • 44 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
7
Be consistent, reliable and fair. Children need a
steady, predictable environment. Reliable grandparents
only promise what they can deliver. They try to ensure
consistency between the rules at home and at grandma’s
house. Grandchildren need to know that they can rely on
their grandparents to be consistently positive, attentive,
loving, gentle and fun. Being fair doesn’t mean that each
grandchild is treated exactly the same but rather that that
each child’s uniqueness is respected.
8 Stay in touch. Grandparents need to stay in touch
and spend quality time with their grandchildren. One-onone
time is best. Long distance grandparents can be as
effective as those who live across the street as long as
they find creative ways to stay connected and build a relationship
with their grandchildren. Grandparents should
be involved in the first six years, if possible. Bonding and
attachment to nurturing adults (including grandparents)
in infancy and early years affects a child’s happiness,
health and behaviour well into adulthood. Grandparents
connect the generations together by passing on family
stories and traditions.
9 Be organized but flexible. Modern grandparents,
parents and children are all busy. With a little planning,
our homes, our visits and our special times with our
grandchildren can be more relaxing and rewarding for
everyone.We can schedule regular times to see our grandchildren.
We can acquire age-appropriate baby gear and
toys for our homes without spending a fortune (secondhand
stores and garage sales).We can organize ourselves
so babysitting and visits from our grandchildren are safe
and fun for everyone. And, we can think about how we
will provide financially for our grandchildren given our
unique circumstances.
10 Take care of you. Grandparenting isn’t for sissies.It
takes time and energy.Effective grandparents are vital and
balanced.They are clear about their priorities and spend
time on what matters most.They look after their physical,
emotional and spiritual well-being. They maintain a quality
of life that allows them to live life to the fullest and to
be the kind of grandparent they want to be.Grandparents
benefit from the vitality of their grandchildren as much as
the grandchildren benefit from a loving relationship with
vital grandparents.
Mary Jane Sterne and Peggy Edwards are the authors of
Intentional Grandparenting: A Boomer’s Guide,
(McClelland and Stewart, 2005). The authors live in
Ottawa and have 19 grandchildren between them.