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Editor’s Letter- Patricia den Boer
PHOTO: LORRAINE BRAND
MAKE-UP: CHERYL A. CROSS
Indulgence and Guilt
An ironic combination that we tolerate... and enjoy
We are at the brink of a time in the year when we are hit with two duelling sensations: guilt
and indulgence. For many of us, we are torn back and forth at this time of year between
these two extremes. Guilt, first, because we are reminded that the holiday season is a time
of love, peace and joy.And at some point someone dictated that it also included entertaining.While
I’m not at all sure why, I, for one, am overcome with this need to cram into four or five weeks visits
with people that I have not taken the time to see the rest of the year. See where the guilt comes in?
Next, we’re hit with the prospect of a brand new year, resolutions and — worst of all — reflecting
on all the things that we didn’t accomplish the year before. Guilt, again.
Then comes indulgence followed by guilt again.We are hit with message after message about
how one’s dinner party can only be a success with all the proper matching linen,perfectly prepared
sauces and all the right wines.With more than our fill of several weeks straight of more-than-theordinary-meal
preparations, organizing guest lists — and don’t forget about managing family dynamics
— I feel exhausted already.After the holidays there is likely to be the guilt that we didn’t visit
enough, that the family didn’t get along well, or that we ate a bit too much dessert.
One friend of mine starts a month before her Christmas brunch preparing appetizers she can
freeze just so that she’s not completely exhausted the day her family arrives. She will diligently plan
out what can be frozen for the longest, and then spend one night a week in the kitchen, socking
away another piece of the menu.Another checkmark off the list.
Another friend of mine gets excited by the prospect of cooking for the holidays. She’s also an
excellent chef (which makes a world of difference) and revels in the thought of experimenting with
a new recipe each year.The difference is, her dishes turn out. Mine usually turn into some sort of
hybrid meal that I’ve had to adapt when the recipe bombs.The wonderful thing about this friend is
that she raves as much over my homemade hamburgers prepared on the barbecue during the summer
as she does the Carpaccio and Grilled Salmon with Mango Salsa served at the latest trendy
restaurant in town. A real friend does that — someone who doesn’t mind if we use Chinette or
Noritake dinnerware — someone who is as interested in your challenges as she is about your aches
and pains.
The nice thing about the holidays is that they do end.Unfortunately,we sometimes end up wishing
our time away in the process and that’s wrong. Perhaps it’s time to focus on what matters.
Embrace imperfection and do away with guilt. Forget the Noritake, forget the menus, and listen to
what’s in your heart. Enjoy yourself this season — and all year around, for that matter — and spend
time with the people who matter most in your life.
And I hope you will find just about everything you need in this issue to inspire you to
do just that.
November/December 2008 • 8 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
editor@coylepublishing.com