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megram - 55NovOttawa - Index

who lives in the same city as the parent will usually get the
nod. Sometimes more than one child is named.Two children
must act jointly and agree with each other in matters relating
to the management of the incapable person’s estate.A committee
of three children is an invitation to chaos, which may
be partially remedied if the power of attorney document provides
for decisions to be made by a majority of the attorneys.
This mini bureaucracy is rarely efficient in the management
of one’s affairs,however some parents simply do not want to
hurt the feelings of any of their children, so the parents insist
that their adult children act together,even when there has not
been any evidence of that during their lifetime.
Some persons do not want their children to act for an
attorney for them under any circumstances. While this
often leads to complaints from the children, the positive
benefit of choosing while capable is that you get to pick
whoever you want to look after your affairs without
recourse by anybody else.
The geographic location of an attorney for personal
care is very important because of the need to act in an
emergency situation, which may require someone who is
relatively close at hand to assist.
If an elderly person has become incapable without
preparing a power of attorney for property or personal care,
then an application must be made to the court to appoint a
guardian.This requires the detailed preparation of a plan for
the management of the incapable person’s property and a
plan for their day-to-day living.These plans must be approved
by the Public Guardian and Trustee, and a lawyer must be
retained to carry out the Application to Court.This is expensive
and unfortunately often invites competition between
members of a family for appointment as guardian. For whatever
reason there also seems to be a bigger rush to be
appointed as the guardian of the property of the incapable
parent,rather than the guardian of their personal care.Given
the onerous record keeping required for a guardian,which is
the same as a power of attorney for property, one has to
wonder why there is such competition for this position.
Being a power of attorney or a guardian for an incapable
person is a serious legal responsibility. Considerable
care must be taken in choosing the person that will carry
out the duties of the position honestly and diligently.
John Johnson is a partner with the law firm of Nelligan
O’Brien Payne (www.nelligan.ca), with offices in Ottawa,
Kingston, Vankleek Hill and Alexandria.
NOTE TO READERS: THIS ARTICLE IS FOR INFORMA-
TION PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR
LEGAL ADVISOR BEFORE TAKING ACTION ON
INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS ARTICLE.
November/December 2008 • 22 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
Intentional Grandparenting
By Peggy Edwards
and Mary Jane Sterne
Another
World
Teenagers provide grandparents a
glimpse into a whole new life
It started innocently enough.We were in our recently
purchased condo with our daughter and her husband
discussing the merits of a new portable bed and how
it would accommodate the grandchildren comfortably,
even when they became teenagers. My son-in-law decided
he should break it to me as gently as possible:“Um,
you know, don’t take this personally, but the children
aren’t likely to do sleepovers at Grandma’s when they
are teenagers.”
He followed this up with a hilarious rendition of
Torin, as a teenager, rapping to his friends about his cool
weekend sleeping at Grandma’s.
I laughed,but the conversation made me realize that
we were not prepared for the changes that are soon to
occur as our grandchildren moved into the teen years.
Generally,adolescence is the time when children need to
separate from their parents and establish their own lives
and personalities. Friends become more important.
Hormones are raging,their bodies are changing and they
are developing sexually.
“They suddenly become more private about their
bodies and appearance,”according to Peggy,who has five
teenage grandchildren. “They are less available and are
busy with friends,school work,extra-curricular activities
and part-time work. Some go through teenage rites of
passage such as tattoos, piercings, interesting hair
colours and questionable fashions. We may feel perplexed
but need to recognize that this is all part of growing
up.” (We also hope that they will not get involved in
more serious issues such as drugs and alcohol.)
By the same token, grandparenting teenagers can be
a total delight.They are much easier in terms of physical