megram - Index

megram - 55JulOttawa - Index

beige. Grrr! Never believe a person who says they don’t care
what you do.
What about the situation a friend of mine encountered a
few years ago. She met a wonderful man, a widower of some
four years. Being that she had a small apartment, it was decided
that they would live in his house since it had all the qualifications
that they needed. But — and it is a really big “but” —
despite the years passed since his wife’s death, he had a terribly
difficult time allowing change. It was not so much that he wanted
a shrine to his late wife but he just did not like change of any
kind. That was fun. My friend solved it by introducing small
changes slowly until before long the whole look of the house
was different.Results? A very happy friend and a gentleman who
learned to live with the changes — one at a time.
The adjustment to combining households doesn’t always
revolve around material goods. I know I could get used to furniture
and colour changes and all that without too much trouble,
but what I think I would find most difficult are combining life
patterns.As I get older I hate to admit it — but I am a little more
a creature of habit than I thought.
No matter how many holidays you have enjoyed with your
soon-to-be new spouse or partner, they are little jewels of time
away from the ordinary day-to-day life we all have claim to. No
matter how many weekends you have stayed together and
enjoyed, they too are just that — weekends.
Now the time has come.The commitment has been made;
the moving van has moved all your things into one place, and
that wonderful chair I first mentioned has found its rightful
place so its owner can enjoy it. Now life begins.
“Hey,” he says one morning as he nearly falls over a cat toy
on the floor,“we have electricity you know.”
“I like sitting in the dark first thing in the morning. It’s a
form of meditation,”she answers,somewhat miffed.“And I never
knew you got up in the middle of the night and went to work
on your computer.”
“Now that you mention these things, how come you go to
bed so early?” he asks.“Are you bored with me already?”
Combining households.Not for the meek — and certainly a
sense of humour is required. It’s been a long time since I have
been faced with this predicament. How would I do, now that I
am 68 and not 48? I’d like to think I could manage it with
aplomb, and hope that if the situation does arise that the gentleman
is tolerant of a less-than-perfect housekeeper, a not-overly
enthusiastic cook and someone who likes moments of privacy
and an opportunity for contemplation. Oh yes, he would also
have to understand that when I am creating something — a
painting or some jewellery — components could be found all
over the house. I’d try to adapt a bit, of course, but some habits
are really difficult to change.
Lorna Foreman is a self-described 50+ writer based in
Summerstown, Ontario.
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