megram - Index

megram - 55JulGTA - Index

Intentional Grandparenting
By Peggy Edwards
and Mary Jane Sterne
Children, parents and grandparents have always been
the hub of families, forming a multigenerational collage
of individuals at dramatically different stages of
their lives.Now,as people are living longer than in the past,
this hub increasingly includes great-grandparents.
The majority of great-grandparents were born and
raised in the early part of this century.Their experiences of
childbirth and raising children were greatly affected by
World War II and the Depression. Many of them immigrated
to Canada with little in their suitcases and only meagre
funds to start a new life. In the ’50s and ’60s, they worked
hard to raise their families in the relative comfort of prosperity
and peace that they had not previously enjoyed.
They gave their children a legacy of important values —
hard work, loyalty, optimism, generosity, and a deep love of
family and community.
When 84-year-old Antonia den Boer left Holland after
the war, her parents told her to take pride and work hard
in her new country. She remembers how she made
clothes for her children, including outdoor coats, which
she cut from a man’s overcoat someone gave her.Now her
children, 12 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren still
bring her their favourite pieces of clothing that need
adjusting or mending. Antonia’s sense of wonder and
enjoyment has not diminished with the birth of each new
great-grandchild.
“There is nothing more exciting than a new life in the
family,” she says.“This little generation is such a gift. Babies
help families get over some of the small bumps in the road
we all run into. It gives me a lift and makes me feel young
when I see my great-grandchildren.”
July/August 2008 • 72 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
Antonia keeps a basket of toys in the basement for
when the great-grandchildren visit at her house in
Amberwood.Jacob,the eldest,is four years old and calls her
“Great Grandma.”
Joan Ayotte had just returned from Toronto when we
reached her at her Ottawa home.She was in Toronto to see
a play but managed to spend some quality time with one
of her three grandchildren and that grandchild’s own
daughter — who is one of Joan’s four great-grandchildren.
Her grandchildren know her as “Nana”but to the next generation
she is “Gigi”— a name,she explains,that is easy for
very young children to say.
Like Antonia, Joan has seen a lot of changes in childrearing
since she had her children. Joan married at age 19
in England during the war and promptly had two children
15 months apart.
“Thank goodness my mom was there for me,”says Joan.
“After the second baby, she even advised me to go to the
birth control clinic. Pretty amazing considering that it was
in the 1940s.” In those days, all babies were nursed. They
were potty trained early and they went to bed early.
Joan and her Canadian soldier husband returned to
Canada in 1946 and were blessed with one more child.“Of
course we did not have the technology we have today and
there was no television until 1959. I think it is harder for
parents and kids today; they are bombarded with advertising.
Both parents are working outside the home and it is
hard to say “no.”
Joan is very close to her granddaughters and stays in
touch.
“When they ask me for advice about child-rearing, I