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megram - Index

megram - 55JulGTA - Index

colour…as long as it was beige. Grrr!
Never believe a person who says they
don’t care what you do.
What about the situation a friend of
mine encountered a few years ago. She
met a wonderful man, a widower of
some four years. Being that she had a
small apartment, it was decided that
they would live in his house since it had
all the qualifications that they needed.
But — and it is a really big “but” —
despite the years passed since his wife’s
death, he had a terribly difficult time
allowing change. It was not so much
that he wanted a shrine to his late wife
but he just did not like change of any
kind. That was fun. My friend solved it
by introducing small changes slowly
until before long the whole look of the
house was different. Results? A very
happy friend and a gentleman who
learned to live with the changes — one
at a time.
The adjustment to combining households
doesn’t always revolve around
material goods. I know I could get used
to furniture and colour changes and all
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that without too much trouble, but what
I think I would find most difficult are
combining life patterns. As I get older I
hate to admit it — but I am a little more
a creature of habit than I thought.
No matter how many holidays you
have enjoyed with your soon-to-be new
spouse or partner, they are little jewels
of time away from the ordinary day-today
life we all have claim to. No matter
how many weekends you have stayed
together and enjoyed, they too are just
that — weekends.
Now the time has come. The commitment
has been made; the moving van
has moved all your things into one place,
and that wonderful chair I first mentioned
has found its rightful place so its
owner can enjoy it. Now life begins.
“Hey,” he says one morning as he
nearly falls over a cat toy on the floor,
“we have electricity you know.”
“I like sitting in the dark first thing
in the morning. It’s a form of meditation,”
she answers, somewhat miffed.
“And I never knew you got up in the
middle of the night and went to work on
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July/August 2008 • 41 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
your computer.”
“Now that you mention these
things, how come you go to bed so
early?” he asks.“Are you bored with me
already?”
Combining households. Not for the
meek — and certainly a sense of
humour is required. It’s been a long
time since I have been faced with this
predicament. How would I do, now that
I am 68 and not 48? I’d like to think I
could manage it with aplomb, and hope
that if the situation does arise that the
gentleman is tolerant of a less-than-perfect
housekeeper, a not-overly enthusiastic
cook and someone who likes
moments of privacy and an opportunity
for contemplation. Oh yes, he would
also have to understand that when I am
creating something — a painting or
some jewellery — components could
be found all over the house. I’d try to
adapt a bit, of course, but some habits
are really difficult to change.
Lorna Foreman is a self-described 50+
writer based in Summerstown, Ontario.
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