megram - Index

megram - 55GTA - Index

of this lack of feedback. We all have
attended wakes to hear the deceased
praised, stories of how they were
affected by this person.... Why can’t
we do that while the person is still
alive and able to enjoy it?
Maybe it’s all this living alone that
puts these ideas into my head. The
only praise I get on a day to day basis
is when I feed my cats exactly what
they want — they let me know. Of
course, they also let me know when I
don’t feed them exactly what they
want but I am willing to accept the
positive as well as the negative.
I have been writing this column
for many years now and while not
necessarily soliciting responses from
the readers,only twice have I ever had
any of the readers respond to my column.
I have often felt I was just writing
and sending it off into cyberspace.
Does anyone really read it? Do they
like them? Have I helped anyone
through some of the subjects I write
about?
I decided to make it my personal
challenge to tell people when they do
something that I like; tell them how I
feel about them; tell them if they have
done something that made a difference
in my life. No, I am not going off
sprouting mushy praise whenever I
see a friend, but should they do something
that has a profound effect on
me, I will let them know. Perhaps this
will trigger the same thing in them.
To wish to hear praise is not egotistical
at all. Many times I have been
given the task of training dogs. I don’t
have one now but over the years I
have had several and only once did I
allow my partner to send our young
dog to a training school. We went to
watch and see the progress. I burst
into tears and insisted we take the dog
home that very minute.
To me, while you need to have
strictness, you can accomplish a lot
more with rewards and praise than
what I saw that day at the so-called
professional trainer’s. Don’t you do a
May 2008 • 39 • Fifty-Five Plus Magazine
better job when someone tells you
that you are doing a good job?
I once was told that I had
inspired a friend of mine. Me? Inspire
someone? Yes, she said, it is by your
absolute faith in the way you
approach a new project, as though
nothing can go wrong. She claimed I
was a risk-taker. Little did she know
that often I was terrified. Mind you, I
still went ahead and tried. Maybe she
is right. That risk-taking attitude got
me onto a year-long sailboat trip (I am
terrified of water) and it got me to
where I live now (grabbing an opportunity
to move out of Toronto). It was
certainly nice to hear it from someone.
I hear the words of my friend
whenever I have major decisions to
make and it diminishes the fear. So
you see, that feedback did make a difference.
Lorna Foreman is a self-described
50+ writer based in Summerstown,
Ontario.